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Mr U»re«7Mr«id ton always wants to do exactly the opposite fi anythin* we ask him to do. We can’t make kirn do anythin*. What punishment (if any) do yon an**eat to kelp him be agreeable?
It k mil to remember that such beharior, which the psychologists call “negativism,” i» not at all tuuuual for two- or three-year-old children. .
There are tefenl possible reasons for It For example, when a child this age wants something, he wants it right now. He has what has been termed “little tension capacity.” It may be that you and your husband hare said “no” to him more frequently than is necessary. Quite naturally he resents your interference with what he wants to tfo and he may hare developed a general attitude of resistance toward yon, a resistance that expresses itself by always wanting to do exactly the opposite of what you ask him. " ( Let me suggest that you reduce your commands to a minimum, that you me suggestions rather than commands whenever possible, and that you see to it that yon help him achieve his desires more frequently than you obstruct their realization. Let your commands be more in the form of requests, and watch the tone of your voice and the expression on your face when yon give them. Children don’t respond to the “top sergeant” approach. Sometimes children oppose their parents because to do to gives tnem * fading of power and usually brings to them the attention they so desperately desire. The more disturbed you are by their opposition, the more delighted they are. It is exciting to pit their wills against yours. In fact, they would rather he punished than not to get any attention at all, or to have no excitement If you think this may bo true of your son, your doe is to guide him increasingly into creative activities that he finds satisfying, to give him approval for his achievements,-and to assure him of your love and pride. He should have his desire for poster gratified through hie accomplishments, rather than through opposing you.
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Would it he harmful for n alas-ymr old boy moving picture which la of lower standard if moat of the those of high quality? (It is asoomwd that he would ha by s parent and comparisons of qualities of ■»*•) v... ----- I find some difficulty in answering your first question as I So what you mean by a “lower standard.” The answer depends how “low” the picture is. I certainly would not want him to see pictures that are morally vicious, although at his age atMM of the ankle inferences in such pictures may escape him. On the other hand, if he attends pictures with any degree of regularity. It is inevitable that he should see some pictures in which low standards of conduct are at least countenanced, if not encouraged. In such cases, your suggestion is a gsod one that the parent should help him to see the difference between the pictures of higher and lower standards. You are quite right in aaeoming that one of oar tasks as parents is to help our children Worn to discriminate dm good and the bad.
injured and homes wean destroyed. Some of the children with Haabe and other injuries show great nervousness and emotions Some are frightfully nervous and restless at night. How is the 1 for parents to help the children overcome this terrible An experience as vivid and terrible as the one you describe inevitably emotional scars that are exceedingly difficult to obliterate—in fact, they may remain throughout life. There is no way by which these children may be restored immediately to a normal emotional state. Nevertheless, there are suggestions which, if followed, will help them in their effort to regain normalcy;—1.
Tim example of the parents is tremendously important. As they make every possible effort to return to the normal routines of home and community life and to react normally to everyday experiences, the children will be encouraged to do so, also. ‘ ' . ’
2. Guide the children'into activities, that are intriguing and normal for those of their age. As children forget themselves in interesting pursuits, they aim “forget” themselves into better emotional health. ■,
In extreme cases, that seem to be getting worse rather «hf« better, it may be wise to consult a psychiatrist. . «'
Dr. Maynard suggests how yon may answer children’s questions about death in a free booklet. Send*a postcard to Donald M. Maynard, 810 Broadway, Nashville 2, Tennessee, and ask for is copy.
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