My neighbor brnn^dkam his small child doesn’t obey. Ia oar

My neighbor brnn^dkam his small child doesn’t obey. Ia oar

even thought they shoe Id obey. We have loved them and let them feel free to do what they wanted to do eo long a* they didn’t hart themselves or others. Are we softies? Had you said that you simply loved year children and left diem free to do whatever they wanted, I certainly would have said that you were softie* I Bat you didn’t quite sty that. You added the phrase, “so long as they didn’t hurt themselves or others.*’ In other words, you an not giving them unlimited freedom. But what is your policy when they an about to hint themselves or others? Don’t yqp expect them to obey then? My guess is that you do, and if you do, then I don’t think you and your husband an softies! I judge from your comments that yon are taking a stand against those parents who make almost a fetish oat of obedience. They exercise their authority as parents just for the joy of doing so, and they expect their children to obey just because they an children. They an the “do this because I told you" nil You most assuredly an right in protesting against such an unintelligent me of authority and the expectation of Mind obedience. Nevertheless, then an times when obedience ia essential, as yea imply in your question. A child who never obeys, who runs roughshod over all the others in the home, who gives expression to every whim or fancy, is not only a peat to all those with whom he cornea in contact, bat also it ill prepared to take his place ia the school room, on the playground, or anywhere fat the life of the world. Our responsibility es parent*, therefore, is to use authority wisely and so to guide oar children that they will obey cheerfully and promptly when it is necessary because they have discovered that we do not ask for obedience we have a good reason for doing so.—--rI

have one child—a little girl fifteen coaid walk around her crib (about eight sleep when 1 put her to bed. I let her cry to become very much apart, losing her dinner, etc. Now I simply rock her to sleep or lie down on . nay bed with her. I am wondering how I am going to change her habit. She is already used to going to sleep by music. What do yon suggest that 1 do? Yon realize, of course, that it is exceedingly difficult to change the habits of e child after they once are formed. In year particular situation, your little daughter undoubtedly finds a sense of security and a feeling of importance in the experience of being rocked -to sleep or of having you lie down on the bed beside her. You cannot hope to break up this habit quickly, without leaving undesirable emotional scars, but you are quite right in feeling that die should begin to learn to go to sleep by herself. Your task is to help her learn to do ' this without being plunged into a feeling of insecurity and uncertainty. One or more of the following suggestions may be helpful:

1. Gradually eliminate the rocking to alevpt ,bnt continue for a time to lie down on the bed with her.

2. Some evening, when the child is feeling well and you have had a quiet, happy time together, tell her that instead of lying on the bed, you are going to sit in a chair by the bedside. She may whimper some, but if* you are firm but kind, and perhaps hold her hand for a night or two, she will become accustomed to your not lying down with her. As she gets older, reading or telling a goodnight story and of having a prayer ia a good idea. “ —- 3. After the chihfhas become accustomed to this procedure, it wBl not heap difficult to plan for an evening when you will tell her that you are going to be in the next room while she goes to sleep. Again, she may cry a bit, and if die seems to be somewhat frightened and fa slow in going to *le$p, h may be desirable for you to go to her occasionally for reassurance. Guard against doing this too frequently, however.

4 If she is accustomed to a soft light in the room or in the hall, let her have one. It is better, bowCvef, if the room can be dark and the house can be free from any unusual or distracting noises. Be sure, too, that she does not have any exciting experience* just before going to bed, such as being the center of attention in a group of people, or having a big romp with her father.

Don’t “stew” over yoar child too leaflet. It’s free to readers of this i M. Maynard, 810 Broadway*

Dr. Maynard advises in hia

Send a postcard to Donald

2, Tennessee* for yoar copy.