Block · one region of the page, as the scanner read it. It may hold a whole story, part of one, several, or an advertisement; stitching blocks into articles is the next step. Text is supplied OCR.

Page 2 · column 5 of 6 · from the scan, no model involved

The clipping this text was read from
The clipping this text was read from

When New Year’s Day rolled around I must have been too busy—or otherwise occupied—I didn’t get my resolution made. Now’s just as good a time as ever.

My language is going to be purer. I’m going to stick to words that are printable and sensible.

I overheard a conversation recently. Within five minutes—I couldn’t endure it longer—I heard the following: jiminy Christmas, gee whiz, be jabbers, golly, for gosh sake, for goodness sake, lawdy, drat, by jove, blazes, deuce, dash it all, ding bust it, tarnation, and an additional listing of asainine, modified profanity.

Didn’t Shakespeare place these words as advice? “Swear me, Kate, like a lady as thou art, a good mouth-filling oath.”

Here’s my resolution: If I feel the need, I'm going to swear a "good mouth-filling oath,” just as the great bard instructed, but emasculated substitutes are to be banished from my speech. I never realized before how silly they

(See WALRUS, page 3)

56.2%