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Questions About Death
My three-year-old heard a neighbor and myself talking about a person that had died four days ago. Just now she asked me, “How come did Lee’s mother die?” What would be your answer to this.%
Death does not mean a great deal to a three-year-old girl, although she may have had some contact with it by seeing birds or animals that were dead. Certainly death is not yet associated in her mind with a great sense of loss or of sorrow.
Therefore, in answering her question I would suggest that in a very matter-; of-fact way you tell your daughter that death comes when a person’s body is' worn out or sometimes when he has a bad accident. In this case you can say that Lee’s mother died because her body wore out. That is probably all you need to say.
Do not go into any of the details concerning her death. Change the subject to something else. In this way you are not avoiding her question, you are answering it honestly, and at the same time you are avoiding that sort of dwell-1 ing upon death that might cause great emotional upset or fear on her part.
If you should find that after hearing you and your neighbor talking about this death, your daughter seems to be unusually nervous, can’t sleep at night, and is restless and irritable, it may be that the idea of death bothers her more than you realize. She may have the idea, for example, that when one is sick he dies.
If you think there may be this misunderstanding in her mind, refer to-, someone who has been sick but who; now is well because the doctors knew how to help her get well, and comment, casually that most people who are sick get welL
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