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The clipping this text was read from
The clipping this text was read from

speak, raccoon. Brer raccoon was last seen fleeing and weeping, and he apparently told all of his friends and relatives that 43 Wolftree Lane was never again to be visited. And it wasn’t.

The bear version of this electron-transfer defensive device was even simpler, and should result neither in local brownouts nor in unacceptably high utility bills. The cost of a single bear defense jolt has been estimated at merely four cents.

The Ursa-adaptation did not require the use of the trash can or of the plate—just the coat hanger, the two-conductor wire, and some tire chain salvaged from that bear-sized Volvo, plus another bag of the dried blood that the bear had found so enticing. The bag o’ blood was placed inside of the busted freezer, the wire hanger was stapled to the door frame, loop in, and the chain was stretched across the threshold and affixed to either side of the frame.

Entry through the door would necessitate a bear-toe snag on the tire chair and a bear-arm touch to the coat hanger. One conductor of the wire was connected to each leg of this device, and it was plugged in to a convenient outlet.

Perhaps unfair or unsportsmanlike that use of

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