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rated veteran of World War II, Korea and Vietnam who retired from • the Navy in 1975, “this is the first one since I’ve been an adult that I haven’t been in on. I feel like I ought to be there, that I ought to be doing something.”
Those feelings of helplessness, of a lack of control, are not unusual, according to counselor Linda Mock. In fact, they are more difficult for non-military people than for veterans, who have some real perspective for what is happening.
“For a lot of people,” the director of Family Guidance Services of Rappahanock said, “it will throw back to Vietnam, Korea, even World War II. People should be aware that it may bring up those feelings. ”
Fellow counselor Gary Rafala echoed Ms. Mock’s advice about the importance of talking about the feelings raised by the war. In working with Vietnam veterans, Mr. Rafala said, “one of their problems has been not being able to discuss their emotions. One of their complaints is that their families won’t talk, don’t updei^tand.”
He suggested that, in talking
about |ne Situation, it is important to separate vflz political issues from the emotional feelings about the war. “Get pway from politics, and discuss it on a level of emotions.”
Both Ms. Mock and Mr. Rafala stressed the importance of parents talking with children about the war, helping them to understand it. “Don’t let them be obsessed with watching it and not talking about it. It’s important to listen, and then to provide a context arid a perspective.”
Above all, she said, “don’t lie to kids. Tell the truth about death and dying. It may be difficult — some
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