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By JOHN BORGENS
Rappahannock New* Contributing Writer
In sessions here at Family Focus, I encourage patients to tend to their personal and marital needs. In ffcct, many mental health professionals believe that personal adjustment is an important first step to effective marital relationships and child-rearing.
One noted that to relate well to > children, parents must be comfortable with themselves. One parent said it well: “One should not completely sacrifice oneself for the family, but rather keep part of yourself for yourself and do something you enjoy.”
Treating yourself well, this parent felt, would help avoid the feeling of being mistreated, used unfairly or overburdened when something goes Wrong. A sense of humor about one’s faults and the misfortunes of life were also cited as important aspects of successful personal adjustments.
Love, respect and faithfulness between spouses provide needed security to the family. For example, a household in which love is openly expressed is a household in which children flourish. Verbalizing love to the children is not enough. Parents should make every effort to let their youngsters see warmth and tenderness in their marital relationship.
Parents should not underestimate the importance of letting their children know how delighted they are when their spouse enters the house. The morning greeting and the goodnight kiss set an example which encourages the same kind of affection in the hearts and minds of the children.
A husband and wife are more apt to be successful parents when they give their marriage the first priority. It may seem that the children are getting “second best” from this
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