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By JOHN BORGENS
Rappahannock News Contributing Writer
A question frequently asked by parents is “Do you think that I’m spoiling my child?” Or, they say, “I know that I’m spoiling my child but I don’t know what else to do right now.”
Setting, and keeping, clear, enforceable expectations for a child is difficult and requires a lot of effort and consistency.
Sometimes it is harder for parents to be consistent than for the child to adapt to the rules. All too often a parent will feel guilty over some aspect of the child’s life. They will then try to to compensate for their own feelings by allowing the child its overindulgences in some other area.
There are many examples of this. Often, parents who work hate to come home and face the need to discipline the child. After all, they have been at work and have not seen the child all day. They may say, “I don’t want him to hate me. ”
The fact is, however, that parents who deal with discipline in this way are giving the child double messages by enforcing rules and limits only part of the time. This is often confusing and frustrating to the child.
Another example is the unfortunate situation of children involved in a marital separation. It is easy to get
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