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By Kimberly L.K. Finn
Licensed Professional Counselor
Over the last several decades, divorce has become an almost commonplace part of society in the United States. Despite the increase of divorcing parents, effects on children and ways to help them cope with divorce are often overlooked.
There is an increasing amount of research being done in this area which shows that divorce can have long term emotional effects on children.
In a long term research study conducted by Judith Wallersteip, it was discovered that only 45 percent of children whose parents divorced had adjusted well. This research also indicated that young children, who often showed the most problems immediately after a divorce, ultimately adjusted to divorce much better than teenagers.
Despite the potential negative consequences of divorce, research also supports the idea that there are times when divorce may be the best choice for a struggling family. For example, children from low conflict divorced families fair much better than children who are exposed to extreme conflict (including domestic violence, emotional abuse, or open hostility between parents) within their intact family- lyWhen
parents sensitively deal with their children about a divorce, they may even teach appropriate ways to problem solve difficult life situations. The purpose of this article is to discuss some potential effects of divorce as well as ways for parents to help their children deal with divorce in order to prevent long term behavioral and emotional consequences.
There do appear to be some differences between how boys and girls respond to divorce.
Although boys often demonstrate more behavioral issues immediately after a divorce including marked discrepancies in peer relationships, school achievement, and social adjustment, girls often suffer more long term emotional effects. Often, children will deny feelings associated with their parents divorce. Later when they enter their own intimate relationships, they have to confront these feelings. These youth often have a tremendous fear of betrayal.
For example, they do not trust that people are capable in staying in.long term relationships. This leads them to doubt their own personal relationships. In the study men
96.9%