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Merlin Shorb
Rappahannock Methodist Charge
Flint Hill, Sperryville, Willis Chapel
LOVE AND MARRIAGE
Jesus condensed God's ideal of a monogamous, heterosexual marriage into a few words: "At the beginning of Creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." (Mark 10:6-8a) Because we live in a broken world of sinful humans this ideal is often compromised. In a world of the dying a marriage also may die, a promising dream shattered. The good news is that our past can be forgiven. By God's grace we can get up and try again. But God keeps calling us back to the ideal, the dream.
I remember a few years ago when an American celebrity was met at an airport by the press. The story had leaked that he and his wife were separating. When questioned by the reporter, his only answer was, "We’ve decided to make it work." 1 like that. When two people make up their minds to "make it work*" they will find a way. But it does take two. A one-sided love affair is a tragic infatuation.
If there is a single most important ingredient in a successful marriage, it would be faithfulness. Other features, such as compatibility, can be worked out. But everyone needs someone who will make them a promise, and keep it. Furthermore, everyone needs to make a promise, and keep it. Everyone needs someone in life whom they can trust implicitly. Everyone also needs to be that person for someone.
The wonderful privilege of investing one's entire life in making someone else a confident and happy person will never be known by the casual and uncommitted. The vacillating will never get down to the business of life. They will always entertain doubts about the very person they should be able to trust. The family loyalties they wish to foster in their children may prove to be as tentative as the example they have set. Any network of mutual love and respect will be loosely woven.
The one-flesh relationship that God intended is more than flesh. The ancient Hebrew did not divide the human person into segments as we are prone to do. We are whole persons. "One Flesh" means also one in mind and one in spirit. The whole person is committed to the other. The Apostle Paul spurns the notion of casual sex by claiming this one-flesh bond is created even Vvhen consorting with a prostitute. (I Cor. 6:16) A variety of affairs only prevents our focusing on life (and love). Human standards of morality do change But the universe is no moral vacuum. The human person is basically the same. And the human need for the intimacy of total commitment has not changed.
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