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teers will only work with families if invited. “We don’t initiate contact. We don’t make judgements. Whatever
the family says they need, that’s what we do.”
“Many times the families are exhausted from staying up all night with the patient. Our volunteers will stay with the patient so the family can get a break,” Ms. Taylor said. “We will do the grocery shopping, babysit, provide transportation to medical appointments, anything the family may need to help out. Sometimes the families are so worn out that they just need someone to do things like shopping. It gives them a chance to do the important things, like talking and spending time as a family.”
The Hospice volunteers also try to help the family understand what is happening. There is a lot of fear, anger and bargaining associated with dying, Ms. Taylor said. “And there is so much love that often it manifests itself as anger — instead of crying. The family members often feel guilt over their anger. The emotional drain also increases the anger and fear.” Ms. Taylor said that this vicious circle can sometimes be broken just by the family having time to spend together without having to worry about the mundane, everyday tasks like shopping.
The Hospice also provides support for the survivors after the patient has died. Everyone accepts the loss which the survivors feel in the first few days, Mr. Aitken said. “But the real void is months later.” Often the survivors are left to cope with a situation which is radically different because the family member is gone. The Hospice can provide grief and bereavement counseling, companionship and comfort to the survivors, Ms. Taylor said.
The Hospice can also provide referrals for financial and legal help, she added. “No one at the Hospice provides professional services as a volunteer. They all serve in a nonprofessional capacity. But we can provide resource linkage — we can refer people to others who can help.”
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