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they get help, the abuser is unlikely to stop.” There’s a cycle of anger, violence and repentance, which may take a considerable period of time to repeat, but it almost always does.
And, Ms. Roberts added, as the cycles repeat, the abuse almost always gets more violent. Yelling becomes grabbing or twisting arms, which becomes slapping, which becomes punching and kicking, and in some cases weapons are then the ultimate escalation.
Sometimes the abuse victim is the one who resorts to weapons to defend herself or her children. In a few cases, children have wielded weapons against their fathers to protect their abused mothers.
There is help available
Services to Abused Families operates a shelter in the Culpeper area for women forced to leave their homes because of domestic violence. “We don’t refuse anyone, no matter how rich or poor,” Ms. Roberts said. (To protect the shelter’s clients from the threat of more violence, the location of the shelter is kept confidential.)
SAFE will provide housing for families for up to 28 days, while the family seeks a new home and a solution to their problems. The shelter can hold up to 12 people. SAFE also operates a clothing closet for clients in need of additional clothing.
“Over the Christmas holidays, we housed three women and 11 children,” Ms. Roberts said. “They had a nice Christmas, but because of violence it was not Christmas at home.”
One of the women, she related, was abused for 20 years “before she finally decided that she could no longer take it.” Her 14-year-old daughter is pregnant by her father.
It’s wrong, and it’s not her fault
The stories of abuse brought Ms. Roberts to her message:
“If you know of any woman who is being abused, you’ve got to get her to seek help. It’s wrong — and it’s not her fault. She’s got to tell someone and get it to stop. Someone has to tell her, ‘You don’t have to put up with someone yelling and hitting you’.”
She added that the same message is vital for any young woman who is being physically or sexually .abused by her .father or other family t ' *&»■ A - •* ^ 'fM .> v»
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