Services Center. There are also FGS offices in Madison

Services Center. There are also FGS offices in Madison (9485911), Fauquier (347-7620), Culpeper (825-4242) and Orange (672-2718). There is also a Substance Abuse Services office in Culpeper, which can be reached through the Culpeper FGS office (825-4242).

• Clergymen and physicians are also possible resources. Although they may not have experience in counseling victims of abuse, having the support of someone you know may help when contacting Social Services, counselors or law enforcement.

• Mental health counselors in private practice. Although not all counselors are qualified to help victims of domestic violence, they will refer callers to someone who is. Counselors in private practice may be found in the Yellow Pages under “Mental Health Services.”

Even if the first agency contacted cannot help with a particular problem, they can refer victims to someone who can. The important thing is that someone be contacted. Seeking outside help is particularly important if there’s child sexual abuse involved. If the mother won’t do it, a friend or the victim herself should notify someone outside the home: a minister, counselor or social services employee.

Usually, that help will involve counseling for the victim, any children involved, and the abuser as well. Often, getting the abuser to accept help, or even to acknowledge that there’s a problem, is the most difficult task.

According to counselors, the abuser is most likely to accept help in the period immediately following a violent episode. That’s the time when he’s feeling guilty and repentant.

Later, he’s unlikely to admit the problem or he’s convinced himself that it was somehow the woman’s fault. Confronting him then may even provoke another attack on the victim.

Sometimes, reconciliation agreements include provisons that the abuser must seek, and