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Slippery Hippo
Last week we asked our readers to plan what corrective measures they would take should they suddenly spy a hippopotamus in the bathtub.
It’s a problem posed to Rappahannock elementary school pupils in the gifted and talented program.
Teacher Lynne Baines says such an apparentlysilly question paves the way for creative problem solving in more “weighty” (if you’ll pardon the pun) and serious matters such as: What would you do if you were Principal for a day? What would you do if you could write one new law that would benefit the most people possible? How would you program the time if you owned a television station?
But getting back to the hippo, here’s an assortment of responses from “the mouths of babes”:
Tommy Schoppet says if dynamite doesn’t work, you can get 50 non-poisonous snakes to bite him on the belly.
Anna Hudson agrees with the dynamite idea and supports all-out war against bathing hippopotamuses.
She advocates pouring acetic acid on him, poisoning him, strangling him, starving him, shooting him — and if all else fails, call a plumber.
Gaby Lee goes along with getting someone else to doit.
If left to her own devices, she would stick a pin in him and “let him deflate”, tell him the African Queen is on TV and invite him to watch, or tell him Buckwheat is dead, and ask him to come mourn with America.
David Mosher and Scott Blevins are apparently reaching a certain age of sophistication. They say the best approach is to tell him there’s a lady hippo waiting outside to lure him away.
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