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“It’s with you all the time, even when you’re partly occupied with something
else. You’ll never be the same person you were. It hurts for people to just act if it were nothing.”
Sam Talomie of Warrenton lost her son, Joe, two years ago. “I can remember every detail of everything that happened as though it were recorded on tape. Everything dropped to slow motion and seemed to come through a fog. I just wanted to die myself, I felt such physical pain.”
Linda agreed that one of the biggest problems was with the physical manifestations of tremendous grief. “I kept thinking I would be all right if I could have just gotten out of my body. My mouth was dry and my head felt stuffed with cotton.”
But none of these women recommended tranquilizers for grieving parents. “When we woke up in the morning, someone would be there with a pill for us to swallow, before we even got out of bed,” Linda said. “Finally we just said, ‘no more’. It was as if they thought we’d disgrace ourselves by showing our grief, as if somehow, with the right medication, we could get through the ordeal without ever feeling pain.”
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