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Give special attention to the child’s brothers and sisters—at the funeral and in the months to come (they too are hurt and confused and in need of attention which their parents may not be able to give at this time).
And some don’ts:
-Don’t tell them what they should feel or do.
-Don’t change the subject when they mention their dead child.
-Don’t avoid mentioning the child’s name out of fear of reminding them of their pain (they haven’t forgotten it!).
-Don’t try to find something positive (a moral lesson, closer family ties,) about the child’s death.
-Don’t point out that at least they have their other children (children are not interchangeable, they cannot replace each other.)
-Don’t say that they can always have another child (even if they wanted to and could, another child would not replace the child they have lost).
-Don’t suggest that they should be grateful for their other children (grief over the loss of one child does not discount parents’ love and appreciation of their living children).
-Don’t make comments which in any way suggest that the care given their
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