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Our View
Dealing decisions
Family life education in most public schools these
days covers the gamut from watching cows give
birth to graphic depictions of sexually transmitted diseases. What traditionally was left to parents to teach is now in the hands of teachers across the country and, for the most part, the curriculum is loaded with not only educational and up-to-date, highly valuable information but lessons in wise decision making.
The challenge for many parents is teaching your children about areas that you may not know much about - your experience bank doesn’t cover date rape, gangs, chat rooms, internet dating, mosh pits, freak dancing and use of heavy drugs.
We worry when they go out of the door and worry when they go to their rooms and close the door and really worry when they start driving.
And what really sets us off is when they say “they’re fine.”
Are they?
If you’ve kept the lines of communication constantly open and you love them unconditionally and they know that, even through disappointment, and you’ve fostered an atmosphere of mutual respect then they probably are.
Parenting is a privilege. It is a blessing and a huge responsibility and certainly not for the faint hearted.
Whether you are talking to them about homework, cleaning their rooms, appreciating a full moon, avoiding wayward friends, and never having sex because, beyond the morality issue, it could kill them these days if they choose the wrong partner, it can be unnerving.
Unnerving, because we want to be forever wise and all-knowing and leave them with a memory bank that is solid and will sustain them when we are no longer around.
Defining their character by closely examining our own can be daunting. Observation is key. While they may seemingly disregard what you are saying, they will keenly observe what you are doing.
How we handle our bank accounts, our arguments, our sharing of tasks in the house and how we show our love are behaviors that are watched and learned.
One poignant saying that can be found stitched onto satin pillows in fancy gift stores is worth noting - the greatest gift a father can give his children is to love their mother.
Beyond anything that we might say, what we do is of far greater importance. How we weigh the daily risks and rewards of every decision and the consequences that follow are gifts that we have the opportunity to provide.
Tfeach well.
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