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The clipping this text was read from
The clipping this text was read from

this cumbersome planning.

Ever notice how most Super Bowls are boring? Or most college basketball finals? That’s because the planning and media hype start in about November and wear out everybody well ahead of time.

I hate New Year’s Eve parties. Haven’t been to one that’s worth anything.

I like to open Christmas presents early, say, the day after Thanksgiving. Christmas morning is such a letdown after all these preparations.

Parades bore me, especially those in which I’ve marched.

It is that same thinking, I suppose, which led me to skip my senior class prom, that Super Bowl of dates.

I refused to go because it required extensive planning: renting the tuxedo, the pre-prom party, the post-prom party, the post-post-prom party at the beach. All of that. I also didn’t go because my best friend, Dennis, asked out Donna, the cutest girl in school before I could. He asked her early. Like September. Of his sophomore year.

Now that was planning.

It serves him right that he didn’t have that great a time.

And that’s not even to mention just the planning necessary to call to ask out somebody. The variables are staggering. Could I be calling in the middle of dinner? Has she gone to bed yet. Is she a Falcon Crest fan. What time it that on? Did she just return from a date? What if her husband answers? Did she buy that car seat for herself?

Well, what the hay? I probably don’t have enough money in my checking account to do anything worthwhile anyway.

Instead, maybe I can take another look at those squeaking brakes

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