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The clipping this text was read from
The clipping this text was read from

No, tor surer

“Absolutely not. Nobody in this office has sold a property to Tom Cruise. You would not believe how many calls I’ve gotten on this. It is absolutely not true.”

Women are reacting to the rumors. Some have been seen fanning themselves rapidly and suddenly, have been heard making rash lifewatershed changes in a moment.

Like the woman who said with quick intensity: “I think I’ve lost interest in my career it’s taken me 20 years to establish so I’m gong to turn in my resignation and work at the drugstore behind the lunch counter and he’ll come in, sooner in later everyone does, he’s bound to, and when he says chicken salad sandwich please I’ll be there and I’ll serve it to him.”

When Fauquier Times-Democrat editor Dick Johnson called over the intercom, “Tom Cruise, come to the newsroom please,” women from all over the building came at a panting gallop.

Who is this Cruise guy, anyway?

On hearing some rumors quashed one woman said, “I’m sure I saw him. Wearing a suit, he had a big bodyguard. Anyway, it looked just like him. I’m heartbroken.”

Not all women are so moved. “If it’s Mel Gibson, I’ll be interested,” has been one common response.

But keep you hopes up, you fans.

“I saw Tom Cruise at 7-Eleven yesterday,” Charles Ebbets murmurred in a low, conspiratorial tone over the clink of breakfast dishes at Caprice Cafe one morning. “He was with Elvis.”

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