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I did sleep well through the night. Perhaps the security of the machete, hammer, and crossword dictionary by my bedside made that possible. I expected that Mr. or Ms. Bear, should he (no gender bias intended) clear the plywood impedimentia, would head straight for the railing that secured me into my sleeping loft and attempt to drag me out of my nest by a dangling leg or arm.
My strategy was to use the crossword dictionary to lull Ursa Major into a state of melancholia, if not utter confusion, by reading to him the forty-four alternatives to the word “Bear” and by delivering the coup de grace though the recitation of the sixty-seven entries under all of the “Bear” homonyms.
Then, when he was in such a state, I would knock a ten-penny nail into his cranium with the hammer and use the machete to take an arm or a leg as a trophy, if not for dinner.
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