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Love: it’s basic
By JOHN BORGENS
Rappahannock New» Contributing Writer
I recently read about a survey of 50 parents who had successfully raised their own children. I was glad to see that first on the list of basic principles, and listed as the most im- portant task, was for parents to love and really care about their children. The idea to love abundantly seems hke just good tjommon sense. This not only gives children a sense of security, belonging and support, but it also smooths out the rough edges of childhood. ! Parental love should be special in Ifwo respects. First, it should be constant and unconditional. This means fit is always present, even when the child is acting in an unlovable manlier. Actually, constructive discipline, giving clear direction and enforcing limits on a child’s behavijor, gives the child a sense of security and the message ' that the parents care about them. i Secondly, parents should be open $1 expressing and showing love, so Chat children are never uncertain gbout its presence. This means parents should demonstrate their love by hugging and praising their children at every available opportunity, i I think love can be shown in ijriany ways. Parents need to spend tjime with their children. Some time <?an be spent playing together. The sole purpose of this play is pure enjbyment. Parents need to talk together with their children. This gleans time to listen and sincerely react to each other. The foundation for good communication begins in childhood. ■, Family spirit, a sense of family and belonging are developed by doing things together as a family. Have regular family outings, special family dinners, or spend holidays together. Go to social, sporting or religious events together. You can’t fool Children by giving them things like toys as a substitute for your time gnd attention.
* The most important comment made by parents in response to the survey was that steadfast love must go hand in hand with discipline. In order to love and discipline most effectively, it is necessary to spend Constructive time with your children.
. It seems that while adjusting to Changing times, it is even more important for parents to hold fast to these common-sense and basic unchanging principles of child rearing.
John Borgens is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who has recently Opened a practice in Rappahannock
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