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The clipping this text was read from
The clipping this text was read from

Do not vote for a candidate:

^ Who cries a lot and easily in public. Some experts on crying, note that it is important to note whether the politician seems to cry out of the inner corner of his eyes, as Richard Nixon was observed to do, or out of the outer corner, as President Johnson did, or straight down in the manner of Bette Davis, or merly to wellup or go misty eyed.

Do not vote for a candidate:

8. Who has had either too much 'or too little oxygen, either from natural causes or artificial ones, as in the submarine service or in outer space, for example, or from mountain climbing, scuba diving or from intensive jogging.

Do not vote for a candidate:

9. Who does not know the difference in the technique of driving cows, as distinguished from that used in driving pigs. Cattle must be started slowly, sung to, and then stampeded. Pigs must be panicked to start them, and then allowed to slow down carefully and subtly. As a rule the cattle technique should be used in the House of Representative and the hog psychology in moving the Senate.

Despite the complexity of making political choices, frustration, and disappointment, do not take the advice of the man in the gold breastplace under the old stone cross, who according to the Irish poet W.V. Yeats, advised people: ‘To stay at home and drink you beer and let your neighbors vote.”

Thank you.

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