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Thus, ill-advised self-medication probably explains last year’s three runners with 22inch necks, 1,000-yard stares, and combined .954 slugging percentage. The fact that all three left the course (sort of; see below) at various points during the race does a great deal to explain their poor showing in the standings. One failed to turn onto the Fodderstack Road from 522 just after the start, despite the best directions from the State Trooper, but simply barreled ahead and was last seen entering Culpeper County near Slate Mills booming something about “Chuck Norris doesn’t TURN!”
The second one seemed to become irrationally enchanted at the sounds of birds on the course, and left the road to wander in the fields, blathering on about “Pretty, pretty flowers...”
The third, rumored to be female, although perhaps only to the extent that a 1970s-era Soviet Women’s shot-putter could be said to be so, blew right through Washington about 4 minutes before she left Flint Hill, posing something of a conundrum to the whole time-space continuum, not to mention we race timers, who have real trouble with positive numbers, much less negative ones (we scored it a "false start”, which we thought was both fair and metaphysically
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