give up. He would not go back to jail.

give up. He would not go back to jail. He would not let me live my own life. It had to end this way — either both of us or one of us dead.”

She added that, “If Charlie had his way, not only would he and me and maybe little Charlie be dead but he would have taken some police officers with him. That’s what he said he would do.”

Ms. Hart said that Leaf threatened to kill himself, her and young Charlie, “but at the end didn’t threaten to kill his son. He said that the police would. He couldn’t do it — but he would have his son by his side — so someone else would.”

Leaf, she said, “had a lot of friends but was never a happy person. Maybe he’s at peace now.”

As a man who she described as “always against the law,” Ms. Hart imagined he might even have a smile on his face. In his bizarre view of the world, she said, “it took the best to take him out.”

As to whether drugs or alcohol contributed to his problems, Ms. Hart said that he drank and smoked pot, but she didn’t put the blame for Leafs actions on that. “A lot of people drink and they don’t do this. ’’ ‘Never have to run again'

Ms. Hart said that she’s “still trying to sort through her relationship with Leaf. One thing she knows, she said, “is that I’ll never have to run again.”

As for herself, Ms. Hart said she plans to get settled. Right now, she said, she’s got “nothing but bills.” She’s looking for work, and planning eventually to move to her own place, to support herself and her son. “I can’t wait for that day.”

And although she’s left with almost nothing, Ms. Hart was philosophical about her situation. “God will provide. He will give you what you need. There may be a lot that you want that you don’t get, but He will give you what you need.”

She says that she’s learned a lot in the past two years, “that you’ve got to learn to take care of yourself. I have a lot of work still to do — a long way to go — I’ve got to know that I can make it on my own."

Now, she’s trying to help her family rid themselves of the hate they have developed for Leaf since they split up. “It hurts, but now we’re trying to remember the good times. We know that at one time he loved me very much.”

And for her family, she expressed the love which comes from going through a terrifying experience and finding them right there, ready to comfort and support. “When it comes down to it, and you need them, they’re the first ones there and they’re always there. I love them very much.”

She added that “they’re teasing me up here. The Trumbull Police Department wants to screen my future dates.” They don’t have to worry, she said. “I don’t ever plan on going on another blind date.”