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(Continued from Page 3) two of the disease: attempts to eliminate the problem. Having finally been forced to admit the situation, usually attempts are made to socially isolate the alcoholic: not to accept invitations which place the individuals in potentially embarrassing situations.
“The family begins to pull in on itself - to isolate itself from the rest of the world ... As that happens, the first thing the family loses is its perspective ... an interdependence develops - a feeling of ‘us vs. them’ - they think of themselves as a close-knit family group.” Mr. Treanor added that members of the family often get caught up in delusions: “I can save him ... I can protect the children, they’re too young to understand ...”
Usually, he continued, the next step in the progression of illness is threats to leave. These are often followed by cycles of actually leaving, then returning. Sometimes the spouse begins to drink with the alcoholic, believing that somehow, the shared experience will give them some common ground on which to address the problem. Jealousy often manifests itself: “You love drinking more than you love me,” or, conversely, “If you loved me you’d stop drinking.”
“All of these tactics,” Mr. Treanor warned, “have one thing in common. None of them work.”
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