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By KUCKINK MH.ARTH) Kap|inhanmK-k Y-w- <.iict < ..(urmii.i
As a rule one should never go to the aid of a columnist in distress. Columnists in trouble should be left, at least, for a few weeks, “turning slowly in the wind,” the treatment recommended for his enemies by Richard Nixon or one of his aides.
I am breaking this rule in the case of columnist James, locally known as “Jack,” Kilpatrick of Scrabble, Virginia. Jack, as we all know in Rappahannock County, is a noted columnist, commentator, speaker, and writer. He has been an editor. The range of his interests and of his knowledge is extensive. In the course of one week’s work, he has been known to give near absolute judgments on problems ranging from how to settle the continuing crisis in the Middle East, (one that has been in progress for approximately 4000 years); and the problem of Northern Ireland, which is itself about 70 years old but is a part of a conflict of much longer duration, approximately the 1000 years of British interference in the affairs of the Irish; to advise the President on how to control inflation and insure,. Republican Congressional election victories.
Jack's knowledge is not limited to the world of politics, economics, and social reform. He is an expert also in the realm of nature. He can read storms and seasons. He knows how the moon runs among the branchings of the sun. He can teach weather lore, and the ways of the wild things. Whereas he is generally sympathetic and humanely disposed to nature's creatures, even those that do harm to his garden and shrubs, he can be hard. He draws the line at groundhogs. If Jack had been consulted in the formulation of the curse put on Adam for his sin. he would surely have suggested, possibly insisted, that to the punishment of the “thorns and thistles" the groundhog should have been added. Jack has been brought low. If the written word could speak or cry out, there would be crying in the wind in the area adjacent to the Kilpatrick demesne, “White
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