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Caroline
By DAPHNE HUTCHINSON
THERESA REYNOLDS
“I guess that both my husband and I started drinking at the same time. We were both young adults. But I nevei* wanted to drink too much and he would just keep on. I didn’t recognize it— there had been no alcoholism in my family and I had always believed that neither a lady nor a gentlemen got drunk.
“But we were in a social situation where people drank at parties. He didn’t seem that different from anyone else. Gradually there was a change in behavior— he was cranky, he came home late. If someone came by and I wanted to offer them a drink, the liquor was always gone.
“I started to become embarrassed by it. I stopped going out with him. I never discussed it with neighbors or my family. Somehow, I always thought there was something wrong with me. If only I could do something better or different, he would stop. Or, if he really loved me, he would stop. This is what I thought.
“By then I had several small children. I was terrified of what would happen if he couldn’t keep a job. I also wanted to protect the children from what he was doing. At night, I’d be in a big hurry to put them to bed, I was so distracted with worry. I’d stand at the window and watch for car lights. Part of me hoped that a policeman would bring him home and this would shake him up so he’d stop—and part of me hoped that he’d just come home safe.
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