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Howard Olson, Tryon, N.C., “as slender as a well rope.”
- Mary L. Lee, Seattle, “as slender as the cusp of a crescent moon.”
- Donna Herndon, Kannapolis, N.C., for the envious image of a woman “as slender as your husband’s old girlfriends.”
Judging the “slender” entries was relatively easy. Judging the “exciting” entries was tougher. At least a thousand contestants tried “as exciting as the first kiss.” Another thousand opted for “as exciting as a baby’s first step.” Yet another thousand sought inspiration in sports: as exciting as a goal-line fumble, hole in one, grand slam in the ninth, and a 5-pound fish on a 2ounce line. These we set aside.
Roughly half the entries in each contest were Similes Sarcastic, as distinguished from Similes Straight. One of the runners-up for “slender” was “as slender as Roseanne Arnold in a string bikini.” Ms. Arnold figured in several hundred such slanderous comparisons. Sumo wrestlers also were big.
The winning entry in the “exciting” division came from Dorothy Cole of Charlotte, N.C. She found something “as exciting as a poached egg.” At one time or another, I suppose, almost everyone has looked at a poached egg. Kind of grabs you, doesn’t it?
These were the Honorable Mentions:
- From Gryffyd Dempsey of Portland, Ore., “as exciting as an island on the horizon.”
- From Margaret G. Black of Worthington, Ohio, “as exciting as 20 minutes on a stationary bike.”
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