By ATHENA K TAYLOR

By ATHENA K TAYLOR

Extension Agent

All children will behave in inappropriate ways at times. You must take action when the behavior is unsafe for the child or others. Discipline is the action taken by adults to help a child change his behavior and understand why the change is necessary. The adult needs to tell the child what is acceptable and give the child reasons why this is a good way of acting. The child needs help in understanding what happens when her behaves in a particular way. The goal of discipline is self-control.

Punishment too has a goal of a change in behavior. But with punishment, behavior is changed by hurting the child emotionally or physically. When a child is punished, he may not know the real reason he is being punished. He may only know he did wrong, he is “bad” or “naughty” and as a result, feel guilty, angry, or resentful. When a child feels this way, the good feelings about himself may be destroyed.

Children behave as they do in an effort to have some emotional need fulfilled. If we deal only with the behavior and not the need or reason behind the behavior, the need will continue to be strong and control their behavior. Whatever the need, the behavior will get worse and worse as the child tries desperately to meet the need.

If a child is exhibiting behavior that is dangerous or inappropriate we must step in. But, we also need to look for reasons why the child acted as he did.

For example, take the case of the child who generally gets along well with others. Quite suddenly this child begins to have trouble sharing and he hits several children.

The adult must first stop the hitting, perhaps by stooping down to the child’s eye level and gently placing an arm around the child. Then explains to the child hitting isn’t acceptable because hitting hurts.

The next step is to take the time, once the child has calmed down, to talk quietly with the